Have you heard the news lately? There’s a new ban in some California cities that could land hardworking waitresses and waiters in jail. It’s called the plastic straw ban and California is allowing repeat offenders to be tossed in the slammer and/or be fined. Not only is this one of the most hilarious things to hit California since those viral videos of street performers fighting each other, but it’s factually inept and actually harmful to those who are unable to drink from straws due to a physical handicap. The straw ban means if you get caught using them so many times, then you’re either getting fined or going to jail. Then add the inability to consume beverages at all if you depended on a straw because you have experienced a handicap, which could be harmful to people who rely on straws for caloric intake.
The current ordinance states, according to Fox News, that violators on their first offense will be given a written warning notice. But the second time a purveyor of plastic straws defies the ban is when the heavy hand of the law could clamp down.
In that case, the ordinance cites penalties from the city’s municipal code for a “fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000), imprisonment for a term not exceeding six (6) months.”
Top that off with the meme war that’s ensued on social media with tons of funny pictures being posted about the straw ban, and you’ve got yourself a ton of good laughs in the making. Sure, it won’t be funny if a teenage waitress goes to jail for handing out a straw and thus ruining her career and chance of getting any good jobs because now she’s a jailbird, but at least we got some good jokes.
Speaking of jokes, this is where Governor Mike Huckabee comes into play. He traveled to California and when he arrived he posted a hilarious message on Twitter calling out Governor Jerry Brown and this nonsensical straw ban business. Huckabee made his post into a light-hearted joke, but we all know the truth here. He’s probably just as fed up with California as the rest of us might be.
Here’s what old-fashioned Mike had to say once he arrived in California.
I suppose witty one-liners run in the Huckabee family considering his daughter, Sarah, is crushing proverbial media skulls on the regular with her job dealing with the press all the time.
When it comes to the straw ban, there’s actually some facts that would support the ban is completely useless.
Not that we didn’t know this already, but if you needed some cold hard facts to sip on and support your argument that the straw ban is pointless, then here you go.
Keep in mind, this is based on science, so it’s likely truer than some gibberish that an environmentalist hipster liberal states through their greasy mustache.
Straws are NOT a major source of marine pollution. Sure we might use millions of straws each day, but they’re not all going in the ocean. Not at all. Not even close. Not even worth talking about.
PS Mag specifically stated “Every few months, another city, state, or country announces that it’s banning the use of plastic straws. These policies are meant to lead the way in removing plastics from the ocean, but, according to our best estimates, straws are not a major source of marine plastic pollution, and such laws are unlikely to have a noticeable effect on the levels of plastic entering our waters. The proposed bans do, however, have the unintended effect of making restaurants less accessible for many disabled people, while revealing the ableism embedded in far too much consumer-based environmentalism.”
If you want even more statistics to play with, then read a site like this article on Science Direct which only cares about fact-based evidence and real information, not feelings.
Need more information to battle your straw-ban pals?
The straw ban is so ridiculous that even the liberal websites are calling it out in light of bigger issues. Vox stated: “The Ocean Conservancy’s 2017 Coastal Cleanup Report compiled beach cleanups around the world and found that the most common trash item found on beaches is cigarettes, followed by plastic bottles, bottle caps, wrappers, and bags. Straws and stirrers placed seventh on the list, at about 3 percent of the total trash. Bloomberg News estimates that on a global scale, straws would probably only account for 0.03 percent of total plastic waste by mass. Another study found that an estimated 46 percent of the debris in the ocean is abandoned fishing equipment.”
3%!!! SERIOUSLY!! California wants to put people in jail for that? How about they stop smoking on the beach and throwing their plastic bottles in the sand? Why doesn’t California and similar cities fight the big litter problems first and foremost instead of being ridiculous and banning something that’s not even the biggest problem?
While we’re all laughing at jokes by people like Mike Huckabee, let’s also take a moment to enjoy these hilarious pictures which you can feel free to share with your friends.
These photos are for entertainment purposes only, not to be considered facts. I know it’s silly that I have to explain that, but there’s always one person who takes a good funny picture the wrong way.
Thank Governor Mike Huckabee for having a sense of humor about the things most people find absolutely silly.