This is hysterical, but sadly it’s not far-fetched at all!
I took down my Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on e-bay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on e-bay) and put it in the CENTER of the yard.
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.
I’ve NEVER felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT charged me.
Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of way and security can’t pat us down
Safe at last – only in USA!